Posted by Tajanator on November 1, 2010 at 8:55 PM
So, I have this old friend (name not mentioned). We were friends in high school. We met my sophomore year in Spanish class; He was a junior. We flirted quite a bit at first then started “dating” which was really on/off again for the whole year. He never once tried to take advantage of me… we split up but stayed friends. He went off to the army after he graduated and was stationed in Germany. Somewhere between high school and the army, he became interested in heavily experimenting with drugs… That is where I lost my friend.
I could never have known if our friendship was one-sided or not. I always care too much for my friends and am usually too-there for them so for a long while I thought I wanted to keep in touch much more than he did. When He came home for leave though, He seemed to want to keep in touch. We didn’t see much of each other but I think I cared more for Him then than I ever did during high school… I think because the worry was more and the distance was larger… I had no way to make myself available as a friend when he was on the other side of the world and so I wondered more if he was doing ok, and if he was enjoying himself. I wondered off and on if I really had love for him as a friend. I know now that I did; I do.
After he got out of the military I saw Him a couple times then not at all. The last time we saw each other, we went to dance and drink downtown then He stayed with me & Kris in our shared living space and I hadn’t seen him since. That was in 2002 – 2003 ish.
Then I heard nothing for a few years. At this point, I kind of kept tabs through his family… but I found little out about how he was doing personally… just what he was doing literally.
The last time I spoke to Him was in 2005 when He called suddenly. I was living with My Hubby in his studio apartment and we had just begun to get super-serious. He asked if he could come over. I wanted to say yes but since it wasn’t really my house and He was an x, I asked Cris first… My Hubby remembered Him from high school and was a little weird about having Him over since they didn’t get along in ROTC very well. I told Him to call me in a few days, or whatever and we would get together but not right now. He never called back. For years after that I had not heard from him and wondered if he was ok, if he was even alive… and had no answers.
I began dreaming about him randomly… (not sexual) he would just be there. The dreams were as normal in every other way except He would come in and out of my dreams as normally as my mom or my dad or Cris.
Then, after the dreams started, I began to think I was seeing him around town. I would get a glimpse of him here or there and wondered if I had just seen Him… or if I was just going crazy.
On Halloween, guess who came walking up like no time had passed at all? Yep! He totally came walking up with his baby girl… he began to pass by and said loudly “Do you wanna see my daughter” which I thought was a very odd comment from this stranger… then I realized who it was and was stunned into complete silence. After all that time, He just waltzes up to my house. He said he knew where I lived ever since I moved in. Nice..
And on Halloween, I saw a ghost from my past…
Update: I thought it worth mentioning that although I spoke to Him a few times, after He asked me for money I cut ties. I still care for Him, but I feel like the version that I knew is gone and replaced by a stranger. He would never had asked me for money before. After one visit and 2 short phone conversations, the second call included a request for money? That is so not the guy I used to know. It made, makes, me very sad to think about. But on a good note, I haven’t thought about Him much since then. I haven’t had Him creep into my dreams like a dream-stalker lately, either. I guess that Ghostly visit was enough to grant the closure my subconscious needed.
(The same thing happened with my bestie Lestie in 2002… I started dreaming about her, then seeing her.. till I finally saw her at Bakersfield College 6 months later. We stayed in touch, though, of course.)