Life Reset Update…. Month 2

My life feels like a whirlwind of disappointment, misunderstandings, frustration, and disorder.

My “life reset” is a fucking joke.  Although many of the points are achieved easily, it has done nothing to better my life or experience thereof.  Lets recap:

  • Never get drunk
  • Read more
  • Blog more
  • Follow through in watching TV shows
  • Get on a schedule
  • Eat better food (and less food)
  • Be more active.

Booze?… Even though I’ve only gotten drunk once since before Bronson was born, this was a goal because getting drunk sucks now.  So, I pretty much don’t drink at all anymore Only the occasional glass of wine and not even the full glass sometimes.  But this also means that I am not interested in going to parties or to anywhere where my friends & people are getting drunk.  So now I apparently look like a bitch who thinks I am better than everyone.  Awesome.

Reading more is easy when you are not-having of a social life.  So, yay me.

Blogging more… sorta.  Yay me.  Who cares anyway.  Its not like anyone will read this anyway.  Its why I renamed my blog to “public diary” a while back.  Its sheer lack of interest has morphed this site into a place for me to vent rather than for anyone else to read.

TV shows? yea whatever. Who gives a shit, right?

Getting on a schedule happened because work happened.  But now I never see my son and I am tired all of the time.  Also, my home life has been worse because I am apparently bitchy all of the time, and tired all of the time, and “shouldn’t be working” according to some.

Eat better? Be more active?  Yea right.  I am nearing my starting weight from our Year of Hell. This is not a good thing.  My starting weight in 2015 was bigger than I have ever been due to many sudden health issues from post partum thyroid issues.  So kiss my fat ass, I am obviously not doing well in this department.

So, fuck off.

I am not trying to better myself any longer.  I am only trying to get through the day, and week. My only happiness is my son — who I feel as though I never see anymore.  So, welcome depression.  Its no wonder I am having issues again.  My life is currently the equivalent of living paycheck to paycheck… except for sanity being my currency.  If something doesn’t change soon… geezus fuck!



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