Frazzled… When will things calm the eff down!?

Now that Cris is officially working, we had to tell Medi-Cal and Keep Your Home CA the good news.  They, of course, both dropped us from the programs as expected.  Immediately, I was allowed to roll over on to a real insurance plan through Covered California.  Now we have Blue Shield.  We are still on government health care which isn’t… Read more (more…)

It’s all fun and games until someone shows you a photo 😢

This post is restricted. You must be logged in to view this post and its content. If you are logged in and are still seeing this message, then this might be a just-for-me entry. When I have something very personal going on, I still use this for my diary.. but I am not always ready to share immediately. As time goes by, the my-eyes-only posts often are converted to members-only. Thank you for understanding. -Tajanator (more…)

My Bubby is sick… Mommy is depressed..

I’m sure it’s just a common cold or allergies situation. He’s just so healthy nothing hits him very hard. He just wants to cuddle more and is having to breath more through his mouth since his nose is stuffy. He has a little cough and it’s red around his eyes. He gets frustrated more easily since he doesn’t feel good.… Read more (more…)

A New Stage of Fear

For Halloween… I thought I should share. For years I have proclaimed that horror stories aren’t realistic enough to scare me.  I have friends who have always been scared of certain types of horror creatures, or didn’t like certain horror flicks because it gives them nightmares, etc. and this has always been confounding and amusing to me.  I truly couldn’t… Read more (more…)

Just when I thought it couldn’t get worse…

So it’s my birthday… And I’m 34 now. And it doesn’t feel like a birthday, or like there is any reason to celebrate. In fact, besides My Bubby and everything surrounding him, this has been the worst year ever! My Hubby and I have been struggling majorly since he got laid off in May. It’s been really hard and soul… Read more (more…)

UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This post is restricted. You must be logged in to view this post and its content. If you are logged in and are still seeing this message, then this might be a just-for-me entry. When I have something very personal going on, I still use this for my diary.. but I am not always ready to share immediately. As time goes by, the my-eyes-only posts often are converted to members-only. Thank you for understanding. -Tajanator (more…)

Depression is a cold hearted bitch

Life really sucks balls sometimes.  My life has been as such for a while now.  Don’t get me wrong, I have a wonderful life and have no feelings of woe to the contrary, but there has been some shit gone down over the last couple years that I like to believe has ended with my Grandmother’s death.

Let me back it up a little…

I would say that the shit storm began with my miscarriage back in September 2011.  Actually, maybe sooner than that… lets say it began with the pregnancy.  Obviously the pregnancy didn’t go well.  I found out that I am A- blood type so shots are required for your body to not kill off the child.  Bleeding began almost immediately.  I had to take two months off of work. When it was at the brink of the end, I couldn’t get out of it without going into full labor.  Geezus – pregnancy is a very medical, very traumatic, very disgusting thing.

After the miscarriage -besides the now very real financial issues- things mostly went back to normal… if normal is a really depressed married couple coping with a loss in two very different ways.  My husband is a social person and, therefor, wanted to be super social to forget his troubles.  I am very introverted and antisocial so staying at home vegging was my personal remedy.  We found each other again months later in June 2012 when he got a job badass enough for me to quit mine.  I would say things got 300% better after that.  well… except for the family stuff.

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